A Road Bump Called MS

Jared thought I needed to blog about my recent hospital stay, etc.   In the end of April we were spending the night at Jared's parents house.   Around eleven at night, my right leg went numb. I just thought it had fallen asleep and ignored it.  By 5 am my whole right side was numb.  I was pretty scared. We went to the emergency room on the way home that night, got a CT scan ( even though I said because of the radiation I would rather get an MRI)  and got sent home like they might have thought I was a little crazy.  They told me maybe it was a "weird migraine"and it should be gone in a few hours, but if anything else happened to come back in.  The next morning, my left foot went numb.  I was kinda worried, and so we headed back up to the Uof U hospital ER.   A really young Dr. Buchanan helped me.  I got an MRI and some blood work done.  After a lot of waiting he came back in.  I could tell he had bad news because he looked kind of pale, his whole demeanor changed.  I felt worse for him having to tell me about whatever was wrong with me, and watch my reaction than I did for me.  He told me that they thought I might have Multiple Sclerosis, because I had three lesions on my brain but they didn't know for sure what was going on.  The way he was acting I was really glad he was telling me that, and not that I was going to die but since they didn't know for sure what was happening I was still nervous.  Have you ever been to the emergency room, and have them send you home like you are crazy?  I hate that!  The other alternative is far worse though.  I was admitted into the ER observation unit for a spinal tap.  By this point most of my left side was numb as well as the right.  It was such a strange feeling and a scary place, that I asked Jared to stay me.  He is such a wonderful husband.  We crammed into the one tiny bed, and I spent most of the night listening to the woman next to me crying that she was going to die.  I was afraid one of the lesions would move over the part of my brain that controls breathing or my heart and I would just die.  So I stayed awake.  In the morning they told me that MS was the worse of the possibilities, and that it wouldn't kill me like that.   I felt much better, and thought I would get to go home since I had had the spinal tap, but they moved me up to the neurology ward and said they didn't know when I would get to go home.  I hate hospitals, and I hate being away from my family.  My mom was amazing.  Everyday she would pick my kids up from Jared before work, then just stay in my room with me and them.  I think that is the only reason I stayed sane.  Jared would come to see me at night after work and take the kids home and put them both in bed, then call me to say goodnight and tell me everything was okay.  I am so thankful for the wonderful people that I have as my family and that they would do all of that for me.  After almost a week in the hospital,(I offered to bake any Doctor that got me out of there ASAP a pie, they ALL failed) most of which was waiting and getting poked at 3 am for blood work, they sent me home with a diagnoses of "possible MS."  Then we went to San Diego, my symptoms got worse, and I was able to get back into the neurologist as soon as we got back.  On May 16, I was officially diagnosed with relapsing remitting MS. Basically, my immune system broke somehow, and stared attacking the lining of the nerves in my brain and spinal cord.  It makes little sores, they heal into scars called Sclerosis.  They can be anywhere on the brain or spinal cord, so symptoms vary.  For now, my symptoms have been numbness , sometimes from the neck down, fatigue and a shocking sensation when I look down.  At this very moment I feel great. I get tired, and the shocking is still there, but I'm not numb... We'll see what happens next!  I have started treatment (shots 3 times a week) and it could stop any further progression.  I think I have never appreciated life, my family and loved ones so much.  They have shown me how supportive and wonderful they can be, and I am so glad I have them to go through life with.  The most beautiful roads I have travelled on were not paved.  They were bumpy and dusty.  If you focus on the bumps, you won't see the beautiful mountain scene in front of you. I think life is the same way.  One of my bumps is MS, but Life is beautiful, and we are going to keep living and enjoying life's beauty, and keep walking over the bumps.