Christine

The last few days of my hospital stay I had a roommate, named Christine.  She was about 45,   divorced and had six kids.  She had just had a giant HIGHLY cancerous tumor removed from her brain.  Because of the pain medication she was on,  she was kind of out of it and she couldn't help but show the true beauty of her soul.  She was positive but realistic about her grim prognosis.  She was truly focused on other people. Her children, her mom, the neighbor who needed a thank you card.  All of this in a time when most people would be cranky because of terrible pain, or depressed, or angry or a million other not so lovely emotions.  She was amazing, and she didn't even know it.  I don't know what happened to Christine after I left.  She may have already passed away, but I am so thankful for the example she was to me when she had no idea she was.  I hope that when my time comes, I could have learned enough and come far enough that my soul shines through as beautiful as Christine's did.

A Road Bump Called MS

Jared thought I needed to blog about my recent hospital stay, etc.   In the end of April we were spending the night at Jared's parents house.   Around eleven at night, my right leg went numb. I just thought it had fallen asleep and ignored it.  By 5 am my whole right side was numb.  I was pretty scared. We went to the emergency room on the way home that night, got a CT scan ( even though I said because of the radiation I would rather get an MRI)  and got sent home like they might have thought I was a little crazy.  They told me maybe it was a "weird migraine"and it should be gone in a few hours, but if anything else happened to come back in.  The next morning, my left foot went numb.  I was kinda worried, and so we headed back up to the Uof U hospital ER.   A really young Dr. Buchanan helped me.  I got an MRI and some blood work done.  After a lot of waiting he came back in.  I could tell he had bad news because he looked kind of pale, his whole demeanor changed.  I felt worse for him having to tell me about whatever was wrong with me, and watch my reaction than I did for me.  He told me that they thought I might have Multiple Sclerosis, because I had three lesions on my brain but they didn't know for sure what was going on.  The way he was acting I was really glad he was telling me that, and not that I was going to die but since they didn't know for sure what was happening I was still nervous.  Have you ever been to the emergency room, and have them send you home like you are crazy?  I hate that!  The other alternative is far worse though.  I was admitted into the ER observation unit for a spinal tap.  By this point most of my left side was numb as well as the right.  It was such a strange feeling and a scary place, that I asked Jared to stay me.  He is such a wonderful husband.  We crammed into the one tiny bed, and I spent most of the night listening to the woman next to me crying that she was going to die.  I was afraid one of the lesions would move over the part of my brain that controls breathing or my heart and I would just die.  So I stayed awake.  In the morning they told me that MS was the worse of the possibilities, and that it wouldn't kill me like that.   I felt much better, and thought I would get to go home since I had had the spinal tap, but they moved me up to the neurology ward and said they didn't know when I would get to go home.  I hate hospitals, and I hate being away from my family.  My mom was amazing.  Everyday she would pick my kids up from Jared before work, then just stay in my room with me and them.  I think that is the only reason I stayed sane.  Jared would come to see me at night after work and take the kids home and put them both in bed, then call me to say goodnight and tell me everything was okay.  I am so thankful for the wonderful people that I have as my family and that they would do all of that for me.  After almost a week in the hospital,(I offered to bake any Doctor that got me out of there ASAP a pie, they ALL failed) most of which was waiting and getting poked at 3 am for blood work, they sent me home with a diagnoses of "possible MS."  Then we went to San Diego, my symptoms got worse, and I was able to get back into the neurologist as soon as we got back.  On May 16, I was officially diagnosed with relapsing remitting MS. Basically, my immune system broke somehow, and stared attacking the lining of the nerves in my brain and spinal cord.  It makes little sores, they heal into scars called Sclerosis.  They can be anywhere on the brain or spinal cord, so symptoms vary.  For now, my symptoms have been numbness , sometimes from the neck down, fatigue and a shocking sensation when I look down.  At this very moment I feel great. I get tired, and the shocking is still there, but I'm not numb... We'll see what happens next!  I have started treatment (shots 3 times a week) and it could stop any further progression.  I think I have never appreciated life, my family and loved ones so much.  They have shown me how supportive and wonderful they can be, and I am so glad I have them to go through life with.  The most beautiful roads I have travelled on were not paved.  They were bumpy and dusty.  If you focus on the bumps, you won't see the beautiful mountain scene in front of you. I think life is the same way.  One of my bumps is MS, but Life is beautiful, and we are going to keep living and enjoying life's beauty, and keep walking over the bumps.

Baby Israel

I was very nervous that with my due date so close to Christmas, (January 3)   I would have Israel on Christmas.  I was so worried about it I think, that I programmed my body to do exactally that. I was in labor for most of the later part of Christmas Eve.   Jared and I left Jensen with my Neices Monique and Amanda and headed to the hospital.   Israel was born at 5:04 Christmas morning.  He had some trouble breathing, so I only got to hold him for a second before they took him.  As I looked into his little eyes,  I thought he looked like he might have down syndrome, and as Jared went with him down to the nursery, he thought the same thing.   When he was two weeks old, the lab work came back and we found out he does have down syndrome.  I thought only older moms have babies with DS, so it was a little bit of a shock.  Because 40% of all babies with down syndrome are born with major heart defects he had his heart screened.  They found a hole, but said there was a possibility of it closing up, and we would watch it.  At his six month check up with the pediatric cardiologist, we found out his heart is PERFECT.  Totally normal.  What a blessing!  Israel is the light of all of our lives.  Jensen holds his little hand whenever he gets the chance.  His smile could change the world.  He loves to babble squeak and smile.  At his last checkup with the lady who evaluates how he is doing, she said that in her career she has never seen a baby with DS doing so well.  I am so glad we have him.  Someone said that they were sorry that I didn't have a "normal " baby.  We wouldn't switch him for "normal" in a million years.  We know that it may be harder, and we might have some extra challenges, but the light of his spirit outweighs all of that.  By far.     

Winner's Circle in San Diego

Last year Jared was the top salesman in Utah for T-mobile, so they sent us to San Diego for free!  We decided to make a family affair of it and brought along Jensen, Israel, and  my mom (for a babysitter.)    We stayed at the Hotel del Coronado.  It  was so beautiful!  You would think that California would be warmer than Utah in May, but it was about fifty to seventy degrees the whole time!  We were freezing!  Jensen didn't seem to notice though and was running in and out of the waves.  Every day he would say,  "I wanna go ocean!"     On  one of the nights there was a big formal banquet.  ( It was the very first time I have ever worn a cocktail dress!)  We got to eat shrimp and fillet Mignon, and then we were entertained by the one and only Jay Leno.  He was hilarious!  We were only about twenty feet away from the stage.  After Jay Leno was done they had a big clap fest awards ceremony.  They did a big video presentation about the top salesman in the country.  His name was Yuri and he was a twenty year old Israeli national that lived in New York City.  He sold more blackberries by himself than the rest of T- mobiles salesmen put together!  About two minutes after Yuri came off the stage, and sat down, he collapsed and  died.  Crazy!  He just dropped dead.   They tried to revive him, but he never came around.  It kind of makes you think....   It was a very somber experience.   We came right back to our room and prayed for him and his family.   I had only  been home from the hospital for one day before we left to San Diego,  and that had made us thankful for every second of life we get to live, and after seeing that, we were even more thankful.  We have to put the kids in bed now, we'll have  more later on this trip!    

Memory Lane...

I stole this from a friend's blog so please play along if you want to. I"m excited to hear the memories that you all have of me.

1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you. If you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments.