Thankful

• Sometimes, I forget to let others know how thankful I am for the blessings I have been given. So, let me tell you why I can't help but feel thankful today. The kids and I were driving down our little road (which has become a little too busy) the other day. Riding off to the side, I noticed a man, not much older than myself, riding a recumbant bicycle. As he rode, he would have a violent twitch that would almost take him into where the main flow of traffic was. I stayed behind him at a distance for a quite a while, because I was afraid he was going to have a seizure. A flood of emotions came back to me as I watched him struggle to control his body. I can never forget the horrible feeling of trying to control my body, and having it overcome my efforts and give into the impending seizure. I don't know about how that man suffered, but I watched a small moment of his trials and it made me ache for him. Most of all though, it made me thankful. I am thankful that I was blessed with those around me who were willing to help me with so much love when I couldn't make it through by myself. I am thankful that I have had amazing medical care... that I get the medicine and medical attention I need. I am So Thankful for the power of the priesthood in my home and in my life and for the many blessings I received to help comfort, heal, and carry me through. Most of all, seeing that man fight made me remember how thankful I am to be seizure free for over a year. I am able to be a mother. Something I wanted since I was a child. I am am able to care for my sweet children and be here for my family without physical barriers, Something I could never fully express my thanks for. I have never failed to receive an answer to prayer... even if it is just the strength to make it through certain parts of my life. I am thankful we have Our Father to watch over us, and A Brother who was willing to suffer all of our pain. And... I am thankful to have been blessed with health, despite disease.

Panic Attack

Please. Don't let my kids know, but I am SCARED for them to go to school! We went to a meeting this week, where Israel's path for school was decided. HE' S 2!! He heads to school this January 4. This January. I might be freaking out. As a stay at home mom, most of my time... pretty much all of my time- is spent in the company of a crazy little two year old, and an inquizative four year old. I (up to this point) have chosen to keep Jensen at home and teach him myself. Now that Izzy is headed to school, we decided it's only right to send Jensen to school first. Now, I lose both of my kids to school this school year. Yikes.

A Lullaby

As I put my kids to sleep each night, I sing them "their" song. I choose a song for them when they are born, and that becomes their own special lullaby- just for them. Tonight as I rocked little Izzy and sang him his song, I thought about the words in a way I never had before. The song says "clouds will rage-- storms will race in-- but you will be safe in my arms. " As I sang the words I sing every night, I thought about why I chose the song. Little Izzy has a rough road ahead of him. My biggest concern is the world and how cruel it can be, and how people will sometimes forget to see beyond a disability, or even an appearance. I wanted him to have reminder that no matter what, I would be there, and he would be safe in my arms. The words took on a different meaning to me tonight, and I began to think of our Father in Heaven. I am sure he feels the same thing. He has sent us into a storm. We are watching it rage all around us, and it has left it's mark on each one of us. In the storm of life we may have lost loved ones... we may have lost some of our earthy comforts... we may have lost our health... But we have not lost what is most important. We have a Father who loves us, and he will never leave us to be in this storm by ourselves- Just as I would never leave my little children to fight the trouble of the world on their own. We have to face the wind. The rain may lash at our faces, and we may think we can not stand any longer. But our Father is just a prayer away. Although He may not remove us from the storm of our trials, He can wrap His comforting arms around us to hold us up, guiding us through the storm until the sun breaks through the clouds.

Birthday Boy

On Christmas, Izzy turned two!! We had so much fun and he was so excited to have everyone sing Happy Birthday to him. Kiley made him an amazing cookie monster cake, complete with Cookie Monster and Elmo cupcakes. I can't believe it has been two years already!! He is doing so great, and brings so much joy to us!!

When I grew up...

When I grew up, I was gonna be a princess, a cowgirl, a secretary, a pediatritian, a model, a psychologist or a teacher.... Depending on what point of life I was in. Today as I made food for my family, dressed kids, cleaned, folded laundry, read stories, sang the alphabet thirty times and hugged my husband; just like I do everyday... I realized that no matter what I wanted to be, or when I wanted to be that particular thing, I am the very best thing I could be. I am the luckiest girl alive. I get to be the wife of the best guy ever, I get to be a daughter and a daughter in law to amazing parents who never stop teaching me. I get to be a sister to my siblings who are my best friends too. The job that leaves me the most in awe though is my job as a mommy. Jared and I have the best kids ever, and I am so lucky that I get to be with them and teach them everyday and to have their sweet spirits teach me everyday... Being all of the things I am , is way better than any of those things I was gonna be.

A million years ago...

Sometimes this life is crazy. I look at the people around me, and I think about some of the crazy things that people throughout history have been through and it makes me think.
I think there was some kind of meeting a million years ago. Not a big council with debates or different opinions. A meeting with a loving a Father. I think we each sat down with him, and went over what our life was to hold. I think we knew about and agreed to every trial and tribulation that we would face. WHY??? We knew we could do it. We knew what we are capable of, and who we really are. Now we are here on this earth, and we have forgotten who we are, and what our Father showed us and told us. I know that I feel sometimes that I can barley make it, as I am sure everyone does. At times like these I have to remind myself who I REALLY am. I'm not just a person trying to eek through my life. I am a daughter of God, whether or not I remember, and if that's who I truly am... I can do this! I can do anything. We all can! We just have to remember who we are, and what we are capable of, and who is waiting for us to do a great job and come home.

We learned that all of us would have trials in our lives: sickness, disappointment, pain, sorrow, and death. But we understood that these would be given to us for our experience and our good (see D&C 122:7) If we allowed them to, these trials would purify us rather than defeat us. .. They would teach us to have endurance, patience, and charity. (Spencer W Kimball , Faith Proceeds the Miracle)

Jensen turned 3!!!

It took me while, but I finally got the pictures of Jensens birthday!   He turned three on January 31.   We had a spiderman party, roasted hot dogs, and went sledding at grandma's sledding hill.   He was so excited to finally be three.  Thanks to Kiley and her amazing cake making skills, he had the coolest birthday cake ever.  He had lots of fun... and maybe, just maybe the terrible two's are over.